I confess...I am so tired of feeding P. I am tired of nursing, I am tired of pumping, I am tired of mixing formula bottles, and I am tired of bottle feeding. I've been doing all four: breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, and formula feeding. It's exhausting. I nurse because I hate the pump, I pump because I hate the formula. I swear my life has become consumed with low cut shirts to nurse in, pumping every few hours because I am full and P isn't ready to nurse and counting ounces.
I do have to admit I am lucky - at 11 weeks P eats 8 oz 4x per day and sleeps though the night. Try to tell my boobs that. They are ready to go every hour or two with a whopping 2-3 ounces. The math doesn't add up. My entire day is just consumed with my boobs and with bottles. I enjoy nursing him and I enjoy the theoretical ease of what he is eating versus solids, but I am so tired.
I don't want to give up feeding him breastmilk. For one, formula is expensive. Second, I would feel guilty for giving up for selfish reasons. Third, it would hurt like hell for a few days. But the breastmilk isn't enough, so I'm stuck with all four ways of feeding again. I keep telling myself I've made it this far - I'm halfway there..but I am just so tired. I feel bad for saying that, but it is so true.
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